Mum

While driving alone through a silence road with dim light posts, I feel like I can capture that moment inside my head. The feeling is pure, perfect. I dont know how to describe it, but I feel like a time of my life, a joy in a pain.

I don't get myself lately. I talk less than I used to. I am not that moody though. I just want to keep all the rant and dissapointment to myself.

Thanks to mum who brighten up my cloudy feeling. She start with "Hello, how are you my little girl" It makes me wanna cry.. :') She remind me that a great gift is waiting for me. I believe in her.

I guess I need my mum more nowadays compared to when I was little.

Ect.

I don't know why I feel the pressure of not tying the knot. A lot (yes, read A LOT) of my friends already married and at least engaged. I am only 24 and I feel like I am already 27! Gosh, why do I feel this way?

People would say, chill, enjoy your life. Bila dah kahwin, takde freedom. You'll be missed being single. Etc. Ect. Some people even do lists of things to do before married. You know what, I dont buy any of it.

I just wanna settle down and ready to go on adventure of sharing. I am sick of being alone. Really sick. SICKO.

:'(

Rolling in deep

Same old. Same old.

What a negative vibe, I know. It just I couldnt help it but to feel this way. I feel old. I should enjoy life more in my age.

Shine I will one day. Patience is virtue. :)

Big C

Kadang-kadang lebih baik senyap dari bercakap. Sebab bila bercakap, dengan tak sengaja kita akan sakitkan hati orang.

I am losing. Yes, you win. Take all the deal with you. I dont mind it at all. Really. Seriously. Takde hal lah! You win. You win. You win. And yes you're better than me.

Puas hati?

Worry about you

My boy is always the best at surprises. Sure he did. Like last weekend, he appear in front of my house gate. Damn, surprise gile! Im speechless because he fly all away from his home just to meet me. :') So, it was the best gift ever anyone had ever gave me. Thanks sayang.

I love him so much. Our love story is not as great as romeo & juliet or bonnie & cylde, but it was great enough for the two of us.

Sadly, an incident happen on the day he supposed to get back to his hometown. Screw the counter personnel! He was late to check in and the gate already closed. Malas lah nak spare the details, tapi memang menyakitkan hati. And we weren't that late pun! Urghh!!

Anyway, I am starting to miss him already.. I wish he will safely arrive in Kuching and get a plane back to JB. As I say, malas nak cerita details. Sebab sedih. :'(

Life is always ironic. Dont you think so?

Talk to the mirror

Hi.

A note to self: Procastinating and being lazy to take action won't change a single things even you have the greatest idea and plan in your mind. It does not matter if you're intelligent and smart. It does not matter if you keep on feeling sorry for yourself. It does not matter because you ain't helping yourself to be where you want it to be.

You've been great on gettin what you inspired before. Where that self? Move on, Naz, only you can do things today for the place you want to be tomorrow. The harder you work, the luckier you get.

You got all the support and love to move on, The problem now is, yourself. Why are you not moving on?

Namanya Cinta

Cinta. Anugerah Ilahi yang tak ternilai harganya. It is amazing how can we have such feeling, rite? People around the world talk about it, in the movie, in a song, a book, a story, semualah. Love boleh buat kita rasa happy, jump over, excited, but at the same time love juga boleh buat kita rasa really down, depress and moody.

When love is not madness, it is not love. I totally agree with it. We tend to do crazy stuff when we're in love and the most precious moment is when we spend time with our loved one and the feeling, I tell you, memang high and tersangat best. Betul tak? Come on la, tipulah kalau korang tak pernah experience this stuff.

I always believe the true love of my life will be my husband. Yes, I am not married yet. Tapi dari dulu lagi I percaya my true love, the one for me is my husband. But in my case right now, my future husband kot. Huhu.

I am not going to tell you how great and awesome my love is (because he is), but to share with you about my opinion about love.

Believe it or not, I took advice about love from my family especially my mum. Yeah, Im kinda old skool girl I guess. But I always believe in what my mum said. Because when our heart shattered into pieces like a broken glass, who's the one who help you pick it up? Mum ofcourse and it will always be mum.

I've done something that I am not proud of, failed myself, etc, but in the end mum always be there, forgiving and always loving. (Tapi lepas tu kena tahan telinga lah dengar dia perli and membebel).

The point is, love is a gift, a wonderful feeling, a joy. Appreciate it and take a good care of it. But dont forget, the one who give us all the feeling, Allah the Almighty. When things doesnt go your way, remember, He always know what's the best for us. All we can do is pray for the best. I'A.

Cheers!

Pin up girl

I hate to take my own picture. Why? Because I rarely look good in them (wtf you dont look good in real world neither). T_T

But if I have a chance to have a photo shoot, my inspiration will be pin up girl! Not that very sexy-sexy one. Badan tak cantik, jangan nak perasan hot. T_T. Enough showing a lil bit of my figure and curve without revealing too much skin.

Ok. Bye.

Better Days Are Ahead

Loneliness.

This feeling strike me once in awhile. Sometime I dont even understand how can I be where I am right now. I ask myself, is this what I plan to be a year ago?

When I was in my school days, I always wanted to grow up faster. I hate being control by adults mostly by my parents and teachers. As I am an adult now, I feel the opposite. I dont want to leave home, never want to leave my comfort zone.

But then I realised, growing is the only thing that keep you moving foward. I am now surviving myself out here. I believe most of us do. To survive.

Love. The only thing that make me feel that everything is worth it. Self love. Family. Friends. Life partner. Love make me feel at ease, in comfort. The greatest love will always be to The Almighty Allah.

Dear Allah, I don't want to feel lost. Harden my heart. Toughen my soul. Please guide me and protect me. Please grant me happiness and bliss with lots of love.

In the end, all of us just human. Full of emotion, never perfect and always full of flaws.

Yours Truly.