Hitam Putih Kehidupan

Hello.

Its been awhile. Life turn out not so great for me so far. But hey! Lets look on the bright side.

Guess who's coming to town soon? Wanna know? Thats the secret I'll never tell, xoxo. :P

Tomorrow's gonna be the very last day of 2010. I wish 2011 will bring me a lot more success and happiness.

Life is ironic, huh? I get what I wanted but at the same time I get things that I never expected. Like working in Sarawak for instance. That was never in the plan! The plan was to work in Shah Alam, near my house and everyone is happy, thank you. But, God's know better, I guess.

It was hard at the beginning (until now). How I miss my comfort zone. Like crazy! I hope moving here will bring a lot more benefit in my career ladder *finger cross*

I was on MC leave for today. I cried so hard coz how I miss being spoiled by the boyfie and also by the family whenever Im sick. Cepat kumpul duit nanti boleh terus kahwin, kan senang! T_T

I dont find myself passionate anymore. Damn it! I feel like Im living like an outcast! I just want to pass by my life here. I dont have mood for almost everything! I dont shop. I dont enjoying the food. I dont enjoy anything here. Everyday is a routine. Go to work, do my best and came back home, sleep.

I need to keep myself busy from remembering all this sadness. So, I read, doing sudoko, cook, house cleaning, TV, chatting on the phone, etc. Actually is kinda the same routine regardless where I am. It just, I dont find my life meaningful.

Kuasa cinta memang hebat. I thank God for that feeling. That is what keeping me stronger. And having faith in Allah, of course.

So, thats it for today. Catch you guys next year!

Tougher Heart

Dear sunshine and everything nice,

Please come here to cheer me up. To remind myself how wonderful life is. To remember back all my dreams. To give me courage to chase them back.

Dear rainbow and flowers,

Please take away all this tears. Ease up the pain inside my chest. Take away this bleeding heart. Cuz I feel like I can't take it anymore.

Dear sugar and cupcakes,

Why you didn't bring joy to my life like it used to be? Did I do something hurtful to you? Well, if I did, forgive me, and let my taste bud enjoy you and gave me fireworks.

Dear Nazurah,

Hang on tight, dear. You're stronger than you think. And I promise you all the good things will come your way..... soon.

Lots of Love,
Tougher heart

Berdua

Two is better than one

.......... right babe? and I miss you like a dessert miss a rain :'(

Pantun

"Hello b, u kat mana ni?"

"Kejap-kejap. I tengah beli pisang ni."

"Nak buat apa pisang? Nak bawa belayar? Eh, hutang emas boleh dibayar tau."

"Yeke, tapi dengar cerita, hutang budi dibawa mati......"


.................................................................................................


Dua-dua pun sewel!

Sekian, terima kasih.

Santa is coming to town!

Hey guys! Howya doing? Great? Oh, great to hear that!

So, last night I went out with my housemate to the cristmas parade in town. For the first time, I saw a lot of crowd of people flocking around in the city! Oh boy, they really celebrated it right.

I know, memang tak berapa elok for a muslim joining event like this. But actually, I just want to see the scene. And I tell you, it is quite hard to see the town full of people. People here are reserved maybe. Because at 9pm, the shopswere already closing and the town is alreay quiet. Anyway, enjoy the piccas.

Choo choo train

At pintu gerbang Sibu.

Swan is the symbol of this town.
'Angels' fallen from the sky. ;p

No idea what the writing means

Where are you?

Ting!

"Woit. Kat mana sekarang? Metropolitan atau born eo?"

Born eo o la!

Metropolitan. I never thought of that word before. Neopolitan I tahu lah. ;)

Come back down to earth

Why are some people are so full of themselves?

Can you lower your head to the ground?

Why you like to bring other people down?

Why cant u be happy for others?

Why you must be full of jealousy and envy?

Why?

You're insecure. Thats why! Tyvm.

Top of the Pop

Year 2010 is nearly come to the end. Lets do a quick review how this year is another meaningful year in our life, shall we?

My Top 10 Achievement

1. Graduated with dean's list

2. Got an A for my final year project (PSM)

3. Got my first job offer even before I graduated.

4. Starting a career in a big company (with a big pay too?)

5. Paying my own Kelish to my dad.

6. Manage to buy stuffs that I liked on my own.

7. Finally I can give away to my siblings (if only they know how to 'bodek' me).

8. Being able to be on the plane. (I know this one memang LAME gile tapi its been awhile since I fly)

9. Learn how to cook.

10. Tak sampai 10 pun sebenarnya. 9 je. T_T

So, this is a list of what I had achieved so far this year. Alhamdullilah. It is my personal achievement and it is not something big pun. But, I still feel thankful. My life is such a blessed. I wish everyone feel the same way too, right?

Let us think back about what we did this whole year. We can do better next year, InsyaAllah.

Goodnite!

Lucky Im in love with my bestfriend

Me: B, sedihla anniversary next year tak dapat celebrate dengan u. Birthday kita pun tak dapat sebab kita jauh. *with tears and sulky face*

Him: Janganla sedih. Takpela. Nanti kita ada puluh-puluh anniversary and birthday lagi kita boleh celebrate.

I know you guys can puke right now. Heh.

I love u, hunnyb!

Made for two

credit to

I miss my other half

Da-di-dum

Pejam celik pejam celik dah nak dekat 3 bulan I dekat sini. Wow. I mean like I survive, yeay! :)

I still remembered the moment I open up my transfer letter 2 months ago. When I read Sibu, I was like really? Sibu? You're not kidding, right? Transferring a single young woman so far away from home. Like that was mean!

Apparently, they're not kidding. And here I am now and the rest is a history. I know there are a lot of young people had been sent to work faraway from home. But as for my case, I was not mentally prepared and didn't even think they would sent me here, because they dont have the reputation sending people outstation (at least as far as I know)

It become harder coz.....................I rather not talk about it here. Heh.

I miss city life. I miss mall. I miss TGV and GSC.

Duh~

Anti-social

That is exactly how I feel for the last few months.

Pfft!

Anyway, totally in love with The Next 3 Days movie. I dont know why the rating suck for this movie in the internet.

Still, its one of my favourite movie.

Ps. I want to be a wife desperately

I never wanted anything more

Suppose they already on flight

Hi. Bye.

Sedih.

Supposedly my family, 6 of them were already on their flight to Sibu this morning. We already planned our weekend to go to Kuching. They planned to stay here for a week.

Supposedly.

They arrived at the airport with the right timing. They were not late. But a mistake they made were my parents didn't bring document for my 2 little sibling. Its not their fault either. They didnt know they have to present birt certificate because we're not really going out of the country.

Then, bla.. bla.. bla..

So, the alternative they have is to pay another RM3k for the next flight. I suggest half of them go first and my dad with my 2little sibling came later. They went back to the gate to check in but they gate were already close. Why close so early? Coz they thought the departure time is 7.20am but actually at 7.05am. What? My parents salah tengok time??

Dang!

Im not blaming my parents, it just I feel weird. Coz they are kind of people who always properly plan and almost never make mistake with time. They have high discipline when it comes to time and appointment. Im the one who love last minute, last call. They always nag to me to double check my bus tix even Im the regular customer who knew the time schedule really well.

The saddest part is..

All the people I know here in Sibu went to KL early this morning. Wadda..?

They are so excited to go to KL and I've been listening their stories the almost the whole day yesterday. My company organize a family day tomorrow and all of them will be going there. Who doesn't want to? Coz the prizes of the lucky draw are cars! Total of 6cars to be won. Kereta free bagi siapa yang bertuah. Dan juga percutian sekejap ke KL. Urgh.

Kesimpulannya..

God always know whats best. Mungkin ada hikmah kenapa semuanya terjadi...

xxxx

In the end (Part II)

I've found him.

He's just right beside me for the past 3years.

Lonely and used to it

Soothing.

In the end

I just want a partner who will love me unconditionally.

A soulmate who knows me really well and understand me.

Respect me and want me to be a mother of his kids.

Support me and never get tired of me.

A man who knows how smart I am, how wise I am.

Who thinks that I am sexy and beautiful.

Who realise my strength and bring out the best in me.

Who want to live with me for the rest of his life.

The one who always use the word 'we or us' instead of 'me'.

The one who always picture me in his future.

The one that I trust and feel safe with.

In the end, I just want the one who is for me.

I really do.

How pathetic I am. Duh. :'(

Getting smart with your money

I tak sure sama ada you all perasan atau tak, tapi kat negara kita ni memang kurang pendedahan tentang pengurusan kewangan. Masyarakat macam menganggap 'taboo' atau kurang sopan nak disscuss personal finance. (Wow, Im impressed with myself talking so serious about $$$)

To my personal point of view, pendedahan ini perlu untuk semua orang sejak kanak-kanak lagi. Kita belajar pengurusan kewangan dari parents masing-masing. So, setiap orang mempunyai pendekatan yang berbeza tentang pengurusan kewangan. Jadi, adalah lebih baik kalau subjek ini di ajar di sekolah sebagai subjek tambahan.

As for myself, I memang boros and tak pandai nak manage duit like seriously! And I know I need to change my habbit. Tak kesah lah sama ada you pelajar atau pekerja atau dari golongan kaya atau sederhana, semua kena alert tentang perkara ini.

"It is not how much you earn;

it is how you spend what you earn."

I used to be so belittle to myself when it comes to money. Really. Full of envy and hating money. But actually, in order to attract and own lots of money, you have to love money. It is fact.

Im still learning and struggling to achieve financial freedom. It need a lot of discipline. Planning and control. Planning je pun tak berguna kalau kita tak ikut kan?

So, kenapa I beriya-iya sangat ni cerita pasal $$$? Sebab I nak share a useful book that I've read. Buku ni sangat basic tentang personal finance. And guess who brought it for me? My mum of course! Ah, she knows me so well..

A cool book for beginner

Ok lah. See you guys in the next entry.

xoxo

So good, I got you!

I feel good.

Alhamdullilah.



I want this feeling to last longer.

Finale

Credit

Hey guys!

I know. I know. I've been such a whore whining endlessly about my new place. I even wondered to myself, why I hate this new place so much?

The truth is, it is not the place that I hate. I hate the fact that I am 1hour 50mins away from loved one. And I wish it is only 1hour and 50mins drive away. But its not. What if I am so broke during the time I feel like going home so badly? How? Blurgh.

The fact that actually I am not mentally ready to start a new life far away from the place that was familiar to me.

Optimist. Positive. Desire.

Its time to really get into myself to know and decide what I really want in my life.

Its time.

I am in control of my life. NOT OTHERS.

Marshmallow and Lilypad

Oww... How I love them both. Even it is a fiction character, I believe there is Marshall Eriksen and Lily Aldrin in reality world.

Cheers to them!

P/s- My current life is a real bore right now. I dont know what to blog about. Currently, HIMYM is my latest obsession.

I am back home again. Yeayness!

You make me feel like Im HOME again

As I leave my happiness behind last night, I could feel the warm tears rolled down my cheeks. As I look into his eyes, my heart melt and screaming that I dont want to be far away from this man.

It was a bliss, a pure joy whenever Im with him.

It feel so right, riding in his car, watching the same city scenery, with our familiar songs on the radio, eating at the same place, watching movies in our regular cinema, fooling around and talking and talking, laughing and comment about things around us.. Gosh.. I miss it so so much.

Hang on dear, we'll get through this, right. I know we will.

xoxo. I love you.

Love Song

This song stuck in my head.

Geez!

Im not in a good shape lately. Cold, flu and cough had been killing me. Not to mention 'the inner self dilemma' Im facing lately.

I just browse through old photo album and I smiled to myself when I saw this pic. This was me back then. So carefree, easily pull of wide smile without being inferior like I am right now. Where's the confidence gone?

Where was I?

I always know what I want. But until this point of my life, I am not sure about that anymore.

When I was still undergraduated, I am so passionate about life, almost about everything, like faashion and style, art, love and relationship, building a career or family, having a dream of owning a gazzilion of money, that dream house, dream car and the list goes on and on.

But now, I am a step ahead in my career. But all that passion about life seemed like fade away. I become cranky and moody and do not know how to enjoy life anymore. I dont like this part of my life.

I understand that life is always full of up and down. But I dont like to be in 'down' for a long time, you see.

Sometime I dont know whether I made a right decision. Really. I. Dont. Know.

I miss my comfort zone.

I wish everything will become okay after this.

I know it will.

Cheers~

Shopping & Love

Im just excited to share with you guys what I bought last weekend. ;)

Forever21 white cardigan+owl necklace+love necklace, brand outlet tshirts (asyik beli dress and blouse je), guess wallet (look like ed hardy, love em!), kooki handbag, VS sexy little things perfume (smells great!), maybelline bb cream+powder (my skin need them)

And my boy came down all the way from JB to meet me just for a day! Aww.. I just wish we can spend more time together.

And the date went perfect till my stomach buat hal. I just need to go to toilet for a lot of times and my boy was patient about that. (Sorry eh darling)

Nak dijadikan cerita, I tak tahan sangat sampai tak larat cari toilet lain and end up paying for RM5 for premier washroom at The Gardens. Wtf. Dah malu, I bayar je sebab dah tak tahan. Haha.

My fav man even bought me cds of all 5 season of 'How I met your mother'. Bertambah sayang. (Actually, I yang kirim, tapi suka hati la nak cakap dia yang bagi jugak!)

I rasa cerita I dah basi nak story kat sini.

xxxxx

Homaigawd!

Its been crazy, again!

Lotsa thing happened and Im kinda lost of track.

Im in Shah Alam right now, yeehaw! But, hey, its not for long.

I had a painful stomach ache for days and I feel like my stomach twisting around and sakit gile. But, I have to remember that everytime kita sakit, dosa kecil akan terhapus. So, don't complaint too much eh!

I shop like a mad girl last week.

Had a date with my favourite man last saturday and it was a bliss. *I love you, man!*

Work is KILLING ME! Period.

My family is confirm to be in Sibu at the end of this month. Yeayness!

Iphone 4 is so tempting and I feel like owning them. *evil*

Will update more soon.

Rainbow Lollipop

Soooo Sarawak! ;)

Not your ordinary chips

Yummy!

Hey Guys!

Im just glad monday's over!

So, as on my way back from work, my housemate showed me a cool (yes, they're cool!)supermarket that she just found out in Sibu.

Why lah they're cool?

Because it is a supermarket that sell a lot imported stuff. It's kinda like Bangsar Village supermarket with plenty of junk food from overseas (except, ofcoz Bangsar Village is way cooler). So, I was very excited that I can finally see a lot chocolates and chips with familiar brand.

But, what excite me the most is the chips available. They have a lot of vegetable and fruits chips range of products and I decided to brought 2 cool chips. They were

Shitake Mushroom Chips and

Natural Fruit Chips

As for the natural fruit chips, the mixed fruits were jackfruit, apple, pineapple, banana and star fruit (really star fruit?). I dont really fancy the fruit chips but the mushroom chips definately way cooler!

And oh, thank god I didnt spend much in this shop! But, let's pray for the next time I wouldn't!

P/s - I'll be watching Chinta from my mum's sofa tomorrow. Wee~

Liese Juicy Shower Moisturizing Hair Mist

The first time I saw this product is while I browsed through cleo mag. Then, after I read the review, I was like starstruck. My heart was jumping and saying 'cepat pergi beli' like that. Unfortunately, ofcoz lah dekat sini takde.

My heart and soul is easily melt with good smells. Nikmat dunia yang paling tak terkata bagi I. Can you imagine life without sense of smells? Tak feel bukan?

I love fuity floral type of smells. Yummeh!

p/s- Shopping mode soonerrrrrrr~

Long distance is not impossible

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the Bold.

It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of Time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they Love.

It's for those knowing a Good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it, it nearly Enough"

credit to google

It means..........

HOME

The only place where I belong.. ;)

Tekanan Perasaan

Damn! I miss city life so much!

I miss everybody and everyone.

I miss familiar places and things.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

What makes you happy?

Dua orang rakan blogger (dan juga rakan di dunia nyata) saya, si cantik dan si bergaya telah menceritakan tentang benda yang membuatkan mereka gembira. Mungkin tiba masanya untuk giliran saya pula.

Saya tahu entry saya kebelakangan ini sungguh murung dan penuh dengan depressi. Maka hari ini saya mahu mengubah sikap saya supaya tidak mengenang lagi benda yang telah lepas atau yang sedang berlaku. Marilah kita looking foward to the future yang pasti membawa kegembiraan. Sudah pasti along the way of our lives, kita akan bertemu dengan kesedihan. Biasalah tu. Baru la mencabar hidup kita kan? Dan juga membuat hidup kita lebih bermakna.

Ok lah. Enough dengan membebel saya ni. Mari kita melihat apakah benda yang membuat saya gembira.

What makes me happy?

A simple phone call from the boyfie. Mendengar suaranya sahaja mengubat duka di hati. Mendengar dia membebel tentang assignment, manchester united dan futsal sudah cukup membuat hati ini bebunga-bunga.

Selain itu, saya juga akan merasa sungguh gembira jika menerima phone call dari keluarga dan juga rakan dan taulan. Terima kasih Alexander Graham Bell. Anda batu! (Sila translate kepada bahasa Inggeris)

Im a sweet tooth! Sangat suka kepada dessert, cakes, chocolate, icecream dan sekeluarga dengannya. Nyummy! Cakes never failed to cheer me up. Terima kasih!

Aah... Memandu kereta saya juga salah satu terapi yang membuatkan saya gembira sangat. Kelish, sangat comel seperti tuannya (haha, perasan!) Dia adalah peneman saya untuk berfikir dan merenung masa depan. Idea saya akan keluar dengan banyaknya ketika memandu. Tambahan pula apabila Kelish memainkan lagu kegemaran saya, samoookk! Oh, di tepi itu adalah bapa saya yang sentiasa mengambil kira kebajikan Kelish.




Melihat hasil creative dan seni orang juga mampu membuatkan saya gembira dan memberi inspirasi yang nurani. (wth? nurani?) Beautiful, quirky, colorful, elegant, classic, u name it! Semuanya saya suka! Dan gembira ofcoz!




Berada di rumah bersama keluarga. Sebab tu nama dia home sweet home! Melepak-lepak dan menonton TV sambil bermalas dan makan makanan yang enak. Heaven yang cost nya sangat simple!



Fresh flowers, fresh scenery and all the nature stuff. Do I need to say more? Pure happiness!

Dan the ultimate happiness ialah apabila berdating! Haha. Lame, I know. Suka hati lah kan I nak suka pergi dating. Makan, borak-borak, ketawa, makan lagi, movie, minum-minum, bowling, window shopping, shopping, merajuk mengada sikit.. Aah... Bahagia!

How about you? What makes you happy?

Kerja Mencari Rezeki

Enjoy the pics. Work suck, I know. ;) But hey, I love the money honey!

Muachx XOXO

Dont hate, lets love!

Hello guys!

Happy saturday!

Right now Im having a really bad peroid pain. Ouuucchhh.. :'(

Its been 2 weeks already since Im here. I cant wait to count until 2 months! I'll be home at the end of this month and obviously Im happy only for that reason.

Things aren't doing so well at my work place. I have to be patient for that.

My mum is my biggest supporter. She's my backbone. I become more manja and closer to her since the first time I was away from home during my school days. She was so worried about me and a phrase that really touched me when she said she wish she could fly right now to be with me. Aww. I love you mum. You're the best. :)

My dad as always being my hero. He like to make sure all my needs is been taken care off. He even ask me to buy TV and astro for my new house. How sweet of him.

I am 23 years old and working. But I still feel like Im 19 and still need my parents to support me. I feel like an only child.

That feeling is what makes me stronger in here. Not to forgot Mr Hunnyb. We always in touch everyday and sometime I forgot that I was away from him. Thanks sayang.

Till we meet again in the next entry. I wish everyone is full of happiness and love today.

Bodoh

I miss my old lifestyle. I can't get over it. Call me lame, I dont care.

Today was a badass shitty day!

At the end of the day, it's yourself that makes you happy. Not others. Not even him I guess. Thanx for the time.

kthxbai

Neutron star collision

What doesn't kill you will only makes you stronger

xxx

DOTTIE

Before

After (Azza is my housemate)

Happy Sunday everyone!

So, how did you guys spend your weekend? I hope all of you had a good times. And as for me, I do feel good today, Alhamdullilah..

I start off my morning with big breakfast at the hotel's cafe. Then me and Azza went for swimming pool! Yeay! I miss my lil's sisters and brother as we were always spend time together mandi-mandi at pool whenever we're on vacation. They love water as much as I do. ♥~

Then, we went to Sanyan Mall and we treat ourselves with mini makeover at the saloon. Gosh, I look like Dottie!

And the best part is................................

WE FINALLY FOUND A HOUSE!!!

Plus, its a new house and we're lucky to become the first rental. The house's area is a decent place with a lot of malay as they're near with the hospital. So, this place is where a lot of semenanjung people that had been transfer here such as nurses, doctors, teachers and police. To made it easier government servants lah.

I feel better today. I feel so full of love from the people that support me, family, friends and my bubu miu miu.

Soap Opera

Hello guys!

Today is friday. Usually friday is always my favorite day. But this friday is a bit different. I dont feel happy or excited for the weekend. Boo!

I still miss Shah Alam, KL and JB. Badly. :(

Enough with my soppy soap opera, lets talk about something else, shall we?

Hm.. What else makes me happy rather than good food, good company and shopping?

Good food, I have to cross off from the list since in here they don't have many good place for food. (I miss food in my hometown like crazy!)

Remind me to ask my mum to make sambal kacang with nasi impit when I come back home. I crave for them.

Good company? The best company ever is my busuk! Ofcourse lah my family and friends too, but you know, with my busuk, he spoiled me so much! I can be so mengada and menggedik but he still stand with me. Kan b? Huhu.

Shopping? Aah.. This is the best part. What do I want to but with my first salary here! Ka-ching! Shopping mall in here is not comparable with malls in KL, but still, OK lah.. But I have promise myself to save up a lot of cash from my salary. So, macam mana ni? Sounds like nothing makes me happy anymore.

Back to soap opera. WTF!

Borneo Land

Hello Borneo Post, Goodbye New Strait Time

Baru lepas balik kerja. Comot.

Nak dijadikan cerita, hari tu I nak beli roti. Ala, roti putih biasa yang kita makan tu macam roti gardenia ke high five ke dan sebagainya.

Me : Roti gardenia ada tak? (Sambil membelek roti putih yang dibalut dengan plastik putih biasa yang dibuat sendiri)

Tauke kedai : Haha. (Gelak mengejek) Gardenia sini mana ada!

Me : Roti lain macam high five ke, yang lain la, ada?

Tauke kedai : Sini semua roti macam tu takda. Ada roti macam ni ja. (Roti keluaran sendiri)

Me : Ooo. Mana maw beli ah itu roti gardenia?

Tauke kedai : Airport.

OMG! Haha. Nak tergelak. Tak tahulah dia perli ke hape.

Tapi saya sangat merindui roti gardenia..

********

Hey Dorothy!

First of all, thanks to ariana, anis and mira for you comment. At least I know Im being remembered. Thank you for the comforting words. You guys rox! Love ya!

Since I came here I realised I didnt take even a single picture. Takde mood. Later lah I post pictures. (Gambar graduate pon malas nak upload, tapi tengoklah kalau rajin malam ni)

I went out with my friend Azza to house hunting. Sadly, the place is so undescribeable. I know its normal to look at house yang tak comfortable, but, since dah kat sini, my feeling exeggarate pulak. Duh.

In the mean while since we get our new place, we are staying in Tanahmas. It so stressful to think that we will only stay there for 2 weeks! After that all the comfiness of staying in hotel with good breakfast and bed will be gone! Waaa!! Crying out loud. :(

The work? Gosh! Its challenging. Really. You have to deal with the local there and how can you make a young exec listen to you while you're already more senior than her. Gosh. Enough with work stuff. Nanti kalau staff dekat sana baca, tak ke naya? (I wish they wont, I wont reveal them anything about me online)

I still feel I did not fit in here yet. Another thing yang I selalu dengar from people here is tempat ni selalu banjir. What? (With annoyed face)

And dekat sini makan susah nak cari. Majority people here is chinese and bumi, so lagi banyak la tempat makan non-halal compare to halal. Muslim here is normally melanau and a little bit of malay.

I selalu wish nak kerja dekat overseas. I guess this is it. "over-sea" Get me?

I still miss home.

I guess I will always be missing my home.

Its true when dorothy said that there is no place like home.

Home sweet home.

xxx

Reward

ATTENTION

Wanted the guy on the right. Please bring him here in Sibu. Because Im dying (literally) and I need him so badly.. :(

Listen to me please..

To tell the truth, I dah malas nak update blog. My mood kill everything. I feel so left out, alone and lonely.

Currently right now Im in Sibu. It's been only 3days but my heart and chest feel like I cant take it anymore.

Homesick like crazy. Like hell.

I miss my old life. I miss my family. I miss my friends. And mostly I miss my boyfie.

Prayer help me to become stronger, Alhamdullilah. But, everytime, I feel like there's a big hole inside my chest, bleeding and in pain.

Im out of tears but my heart insist to cry myself a river. (Haha)

I wonder where life going to take me after this. Life is ironic sometime. But Im the kind of person who strongly believe that everything happen for a reason.

The first time I went off from home is to Taiping where I continued y form 4 and 5 in MRSM Taiping. Im proud with my school and this is the place that really change my life. I met a group of great friends there and we're still like sisters and my classmates, the best sibling in the world. I think every person from MRSM Taiping have a bond, an intimacy that all of us can feel.

Then, to Changlun. Yeah, I did my matriculation here in KMK (Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah). I still remembered the first time I cried because I was like where the heck is changlun? Is it even exist in the Malaysia map? But, hey, that is one of the place I treasured. The food was damn good and CHEAP!

Move on to my uni days where I went to JB, I mean Skudai for UTM. This is the place where I grow to be better and never look back to underestimate myself or others. This is the place where I finally know what I want and what I want to become. I found my bestest friend here who happen to be my lover, my soulmate. I hope we'll continue our journey together after this, InsyaAllah.

Along the way of these journey, ofcourse I met a lot of people and friends and I think each of them leave a mark inside me, even the tiniest remark.

Im so melancholic. Boo!

I wish things will be better after this.

I wish.

Lots of love,
Primadona Klasik

You know I love you mama

Mama,

Thank you for comforting me with your wisdom words.

Thank you for believing in me and have faith in me.

Thank you for not giving up with me.

Thank you for being such a wise bestfriend.

Thank you for sharing your life's secret and protecting me.

Thank you for all your countless love.

Thanx mama, for being you.

Pause

I feel numb.

Pause.

Stop.

I know what will happen to you

Do you guys believe in fortune teller? I mean like palmist who do palm reading and tell you so and so?

Of course most of us will say they dont. But if you met a person who can read your palm and tell you about it, how do you feel?

And they tell you some good things you want to hear.

And they also tell you things that make you upset and worried about your future.

And some of the things they told is true about yourself.

Will it somehow affected and influence you?

This is what happen to me. But I shouldn't take it to heart and be serious about it. Urgh. I cried and feel sorry for myself. But I think it is like blessing in disguise. Why?

It's like a wake up call that I havent been a good servant of God lately. Astagfirullahalazim.. (forgive me god)

I should strongly believe that all things happen in this world is decide by The Almighty Allah. Prayers can change anything, everything with His will. He is the best decider.

My maid said something that make me feel a lot better after that. "Semua kejadian, Tuhan yang tentukan, bukannya tangan yang tentukan". She's a made a point there and she was right.

That is why my religion probhited to do such thing as tracing fate by the fortune teller.

A lesson learned.

p/s - I didn't purposely went to the palmist to read my hand, intsead, he's someone I know with that ability.

Redemption

Hari ni sangat emo. Menangis teresak-esak ketika drive pulang ke rumah dari tempat kerja petang tadi. Tambahan pula mendengar lagu dari muse ini. Bertambahlah air mata yang berjurai-jurai.



I dont believe it. I just dont. I am so in love with him. I want to be with him until the rest of my life.

Whatever happen, I always love you. Always. Forever.

xxx

Monday is always not the best

Esok akan menentukan keputusan branch untuk bekerja.

I feel suck!

Hari Raya Hari Bergembira

Anual family potrait

With my Atok

Pink color scarf lady is my favourite aunt

I always love raya! Never feel that raya are only happier for children. Wrong! Raya is my favourite celebration with good food, good company to chat and laugh together, all new baju kurung or dress, fireworks, mercun and duit raya.

Not to forget its also the day to ask forgiveness and forgive others and to always count your blessings and be thankful. =)

Wake up at September

Great people and totally craz-eh!

Lamanya tak update! I've been busy with the new job, hari raya and stuff! Blurgh!

September is definately a new beginning in my life. Im already started working in the new place and its been great! Im inspired.

My close family and boyfriend know how I always talk about my company work place lately and I know I bored some of them (sorry guys, im excited because my expectation is lower than what I perceived after joining them).

My mum said my company is good at "brain washed" me while my dad as always giving constructive criticism. As for my boy, he sarcastically said that I was the CEO of proton. Ok. I promised, after this no more of those stories!

I feel anxious and worry where I will be transfer after this. Where ever the location will be, I'll accept it with open arms. (I've got no choice actually)

Raya was superb except the part where I did not get a lot of duit raya like I used to.

And I miss my boy badly... T___T

p/s - I HATE MY NEW HAIR CUTTTTTTTTT!

Ride with me

Im home. Hello. Hello.

Had a blissful ride with Amir by my side. We talk and talk and joke around foolishly and I love every second of it.

Had banana leaf rice for berbuka.

Finally, construction buat jalan around shah alam dah siap and wow, hampir dah tak kenal jalan dan confused. Sebenarnya mungkin dah lama siap tapi baru tahu.

Oh, masa nak balik tadi, my grandmother cried and I feel so guilt. I kept thinking about it and I hope she'll be fine. I love you, Atok, so much more than you know.

I think I am the closest grandchild to my atok. We always argue, you know, and I always merajuk with her. But I had a feeling she loved me so much but she just doesnt want to show it. Hati orang tua ni sensitive sometime, so kitaorang ni selalu ada what we call 'generation gap'.

The point is, if you still have atok, please jaga hati diorang. They're diffrent from your parents sebab dorank lagi sensitive. Take time to listen to them, talk to them, entertain them by offering help or going out somewhere. Because deep inside, they feel so lonely and feel like we dont need them anymore or they just simply think they troubled their children.

All of us will grow old one day. Just think about it.

I'll be home by tonight

JB - A place where it all happens.

You're such an amazing place and you hold lots of memories of mine here.

The people, the scenery, the skyscraper, the mall.

You're the place when I found my dream guy and true love.

My grandmother is the happiest when she knew I'll be staying here.

I become closer to my aunts and cuzzies because of you.

All my late night date, day out date happened here.

I met quite a number of great friends that I never thought of it.

I grew wiser, stronger, better.

I love you, JB, I really do.

Hope we'll see each other real soon later.

p/s-JB is Johor Bahru, not Justin Bieber or Jonas Brother or shoes brand or whatever that you thought of beside Johor Bahru.

Before I sleep

I love you for no specific reason.

I just do love you.

Split me if that's make u happy

It is hard to please everyone.. Really.. "Susah nak menjaga hati semua pihak". I heard the phrase before from the famous Datuk Siti. At first I thought, apelah yang susah sangat. Now when I am the situation, then only I understand.

But actually, Datuk Siti is not the point. (I dont know why suddenly she came inside my mind and Im not really a big fan of her anyway)

Im not a big name, a superstar to deal with everyone.

The problem is I have to deal with people around me, all of them are important in my life. I have commitments as a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a friend and of course a girlfriend.

All of them are priority. Every choice I made, I have to let one of them down. I only can make one party happy instead all of them.

I really wish I have pintu suka hati like in Doreamon. Then only I can make all people happy.

What am I babbling about? Mengarutnya, I know. :(

I wish Im stronger than this.

p/s- I hate packing. Always.

Memories of Toplink Asia

Former workplace

One of those good times

Final farewell. Sadly, kak eza and mena couldnt make it.

• My first job interview and Thank God it became my first job after completing degree. I met this 'job' during UTM career carnival on my final sem.
• I started working a week right after I finished my exam on May 2010
• I love the office's location at City Square office tower - bila boring je boleh turun dekat mall jalan-jalan. But I hate the parking rate though. And oh, food also can be quite costly there.
• The most important thing about this place are THE COLLEAGUES. All of us is like family, more than just friends.
• I thank god for letting me getting to know these people. Who knew we can be so close to each other.
• I met an amazing girl there and it such a wonder that we've so much resembles (not physically, ok. She's so fair while Im hitam!). Her name is Michelle and I have like some sort of chemistry with her. It is funny (and weird) because most of our thoughts are the same and have almost similar experience in the past (except the part she's the girl guide, while Im not) Maybe it is because we're Aquarius and our birth date just 2 days difference.
  
• Then, I also met a bubbly and girly Bazilah. She have this unique laugh and I still remember we always chat and chat about stuff. She has a good taste. At first, I dont really fancy her and I never knew we become such a good friend after that.
• Kak Eza is like a big sister to all of us. She's the only Hot Momma in the office.
• Irene, well this girl really talkative! I love to hear stories from her and she a had a good looking boyfie though. Haha.
• After a while, came Sin Yee. She's mature and really I could say beautiful. She's have the charisma and I wont forget the moment when she had a 'memorable' gift from Desaru.
• Zaza, so full of motivation and motivation. If you want a wise word of motivation, find her.
• Tim, the event manager. At first I thought this guy is cold but in the end, I was wrong! He was warm and kind (okla for a guy, not that much kind of him) Haha.
• Mena, at first she's so quite, but actually she's friendly and I'll always remember stories she shared with me before.
• The last person is Mija. She came in when I was about to resign. She like to talk though. And she always have a smile on her face.
• I will never forget this chapter in my life of my first job. Not really because its my first job, but because of the people there who leave a 'tattoo' in my heart and my mind. There's always a place of these memories inside me.
  

Ignorance is Bliss

I think Im rots here.

Thank you so much.

I will never love you more

What a cheeky song by Soko. And suddenly, it strike me. I should list out things I love beside him. Hmm...

I love pretty girls.
I love lots of clothes, shoes and handbag.
I love sexy lingerie.
I love reading novels.
I love doing artwork with magazine cut and paste.
I love the smell of my hair after shampoo.
I love driving alone with good music.
I love the smell of fresh air and flowers.
I love seeing couple holding hands.
I love to have a daughter.
I love to swim. (even im suck)
I love ice cream and chocolate.

Owh. The list would go on and on. Im just glad Im a girl. ;)

New Dress A Day

OMG!

This lady really inspire me. Check out her blog!

Thanx for remind me that you can stay fabulous even with the littlest budget.

p/s-I just did spring cleaning with my wordrobe and I realise most of my dress either grey or black. What a boring me!

Hey, that's mine!

Purchase of the day. A purple-yellow retro dress, grey cardigan and two novels. I think I told you guys before how desperately I am to read a novel.

At first, I thought of buying eat pray love but I end up buying fiction novel. The last novel I read was almost a year a go and you know how much I missed. I bought the book of tomorrow by Cecelia Ahern and things I want my daughter to know by Elizabeth Noble. Those books look so tempting and I cant wait to get into them. Yummy!

I bought those books at popular. They have promotion buying second book at 50%. Berbaloi-baloi. Hehe.

ps. I love you

Si bulat + Si lonjong = Double happiness

(Sedih bila fikir lepas ni dah jauh.. Tapi dekat di hati kan, b?)

XOXO