I just wanna say....

It does FEEL GOOD when your BIG boss give you compliment on your effort. Yeah.. =D

Baby Ian

I feel better and more positive today, Alhamdullilah.

I am optimist about my life now. I need to focus on my career wise. I will get the thing that I want, that I desire, InsyaAllah.

Allah is the most gracious, most compassionate. I dont need to worry much about my jodoh and stuff. He will arrange accordingly. When the time has come, it will come. :)

Anyway, my fav picca for the moment. Wee~

With cutie pie, baby ian. Comel gile with that baby sheep and pacifier.

Blissful Ignorance

Damn, i wish u were here

When the going get tough, the tough get going.

Ya, kinda agree with the statement. However right now I feel down than ever. It doesnt feel alright after I slept last night. Yeah.

I feel like my energy had been drained out, flush out from my body.

I need a happy time.

I need an escape.

But, running from your problem wont solve anything.

kaaput.

Perfect Situation

Back in the days,

Things were less complicated,

Things were easier.

We dream a lot,

We fantasized a lot,

We knew obstacle will come,

But we often said to ourselves,

"Nah, we'll get through it".

Back in the days,

It was fun,

We invest so much,

The energy, the love, everything,

Not realizing,

That every investment has it own risk.

The more you invest,

The painful or more joyful you get.

Now here we are,

In pain, crying for help,

Screaming for answer.

We change,

Things change,

But that doesn't mean a bad thing.

We change because we grow.

We found that reality is brutal,

Harsh and wasn't very kind.

Now here we are,

Hoping that we'll understand,

Hoping to understand each other,

Hoping we'll survive this,

Like any other day before.

Now here I am,

Writing for both side.

Assuming that is what both party feel.

Which I could be wrong.

Which it is only I feeling it.

Now here I am,

Standing on this storm.

Praying on the mat,

Crying in my heart,

Searching to be better,

Hoping we'll grow stronger,

To face the challenge,

Like any other creature.

I hope I will be a better person.

For myself.

For him,

For us.

-The End-

T.T

Winner

Hello.

Im feeling lazy today. So, today I decided not to focus on my work and playing around. Muahaha. Since this early November, I have a very tight schedule and today dont make any different either. That is why, today, I want to take a time off for my mind to stop for awhile cracking itself.

I feel healthy for being productive, thank god for that. :P

Most of my life now evolving work, so I dont really have good story to share. Sigh~ I guess that what grown up do.

Anyway, I won second place in 'Make A Difference' contest. It was a competition for all Protonian, covering the group company and subsidiaries. The contest is about sharing your stories in your work and get people to vote for you. Most vote will win the prizes.

So, what did I won?

$$CASH$$

RM 1000.00

Yeay, Alhamdullilah... Thanks to all my colleague and others who vote for me. And I just collect the cheque just now. (I thougt cash? :P)

Still....the best prize is being able to be with your loved one... pfftt!

Skull

Hello.

1. Good news. Mum and Dad approved it! Wee =D

2. Gotta a lot of work tasks line up for me. So many things to catch up. Need SPEED. T_T

3. My current obsession

Enjoy!

Big Jet Plane

When will I see you again?

When will I see you again
You left with no goodbye
Not a single a word was said
No final kiss to seal anything
I had no idea in the state we were in

I know I have a fickle heart
And a bitterness and a wandering eye and a heaviness in my head.........

-adele-

I feel the challenge of LDR recently.

Mum is trying hard to convinced me to get to know other people while I refused to do so. I understand her concern. But I am just not buy it.

Don't get me wrong. My mum like him. I think she's just worried about me. That's all.

I feel like crying. But my tears refuse to stream down. But I feel the pain in my chest. To bad for me, eh?

Like I said over and over again. I have faith in us. But obviously, I need help from Allah and all of people around me to send a prayer.

I don't feel the pressure to get married. It just I feel lonely inside. I miss his companion.

B, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I truly love you. We will work this out, right?

xxx

M

I am occupied with work lately.

Yes, I found it a bit stress lately. My job KPI is so volatile, always uncertain plus with bosses who, well you know, bossess who like Miranda in the devils wear prada. TT

I salute all the maketer outside! Aye, Aye! Hail to the marketer!

P/s -Nak balik awal harini, pastu makan ice cream sambil tengok spongebob!

October better be good!

Hello. Random updates.

1. Esok Isnin. I wish I am as ready as Spongebob to go to work tomorrow. But, I am not that enthusiast.

2. I haven't finish organizing my room like forever! Banyak sangat vision for my bedroom. Huhu. Note to self - Finish what you start.

3. My new position in workplace sebenarnya sangat tension. Ok. Thanks. Bye!

4. I think my mum is kinda my bestfriend for now. We did everything almost together. Creepy!

5. Low self confidence due to my body mass/shape/whatever. kthanxbai!

6. I miss him. You know who. For a reason I can't explain, sometime I fall in love over again and again.

7. I need to love graphic artwork. Again, I malas nak ambil tahu semua benda hi tech, but I have too. Why can't I just be an old school? Why? My job need it. NOT FAIR!!

8. Duduk rumah sebenarnya sangat best. Free breakfast, dinner & supper. Laundry done. Baju dah siap gososk. Upah lil sis and bro for anything to get it done. Rumah dekat tempat kerja. Semua best kecuali kerja. Kerja saya sangat challenging and tension. kthanxbai!

9. Please stay fresh and motivated.

10. And please DONT PROCASTINATE!

Good & Bad

Text messages today between me and mum today.

Mum : Macam mana event?

Me : Belum present lagi. Wa group last, sekarang baru group no 3.

Mum : Ok. Goodluck.

*An hour later*

Mum : Dah habis ke belum?

Me : Belum. Lambat start, still tunggu nak present.

*An hour later*

Mum : What is the result?

Me : Menang 3rd place.

Mum : Tahniah, tak sabar dengar cerita wa.

Me : Tapi ade bad news jugak. Kena pergi final wakil company this saturday event. Tapi sabtu kan konvo Amir. :'(

Mum : Itu namanya dugaan.

Hukhuk.. She's right... I've received both good news and bad news today.. My team won 3rd place in national level ICC Convention and had to compete again this Saturday for the top 3.

Sedih. :(

Chocolate & Strawberries

Hello.

I am back in my hometown and alhamdullilah, I am happier. :D Thinking about my last adventure in Sibu, it was priceless, memorable experience.

I love my new post too, doing marketing where my passion is. My boss is kinda cool too. *ehem, baru 2hari kerja memangla beb!*

This weekend, I'll be down south celebrating my darling's convocation. weewoooweee! :D *I love you sayang if you reading this! xoxo*

After work, went to tutti frutti. Yes, it was my first time, so excited lah. Love the chocolate ice cream and for topping; strawberries, caramel and cashew.

Wish me luck for tomorrow's event. ICC Convention. Will meet my Sibu team mates. Yeay!

p/s - I have appoint a personal trainer to help me shaping up. Haha. Hope it work this time. :P

Hit me

"Hanya Allah and agama saja yang boleh jaga diri you. I pun tak boleh jaga diri you."

Damn so true yet so hurt.

Before I leave

Hi!

August and September had been good to me. I will start a new chapter in my life where I will be transferred back to Shah Alam. Say whattt! :D

1. I miss my boyfie. This morning when I woke up, I've been wished he would call me and he did. Terus senyum sampai telinga. He used to tease me, "Betul ke senyum sampai telinga? ke tersekat dekat pipi?" T_T

2. It is the simple thing that make him so special. He would try his best to download my favourite song, movies, TV series, etc. The best thing is he would still remember what I like or want even sometime I already forgotten about it. He would also introduce me to songs that similar to my taste. Oh, he know me so well. :)

3. Next week will be the final week I'll be in Sarawak. I will definately miss this place. I feel blessed as I had the opportunity to taste Borneo life. If I want to settle down, Borneo will be one of the place in the list. I also had the chance to visit towns and cities here. For cities, I love KK so much! Kuching is not bad too. I've been to Mukah, Serikin, Bawang Asan. I had drive through half of Sarawak and passing by few towns. And today I will be off to Bintulu. Party yo!

4. Friends here.. Special!! I love all my office mate. I even found a bestfriend here. Her name is Elmelda. Would write about that in the next post. ;)

5. At the same time, I feel scared and insecure in the new place soon. Hopefully, it would turn out alright. Maybe not just alright, but great.

6. Will ship my Kelish back. I love her so much! The best car ever! Seriously. Gua sayang kelisa gua! Ganti la dengan Wolkswagen Scirocco sekalipun. Kelish tetap my bestest girlfriend. Scirocco mungkin my boyfriend kot. Tsk.

7. Mixed feeling. Macam-macam ada.

8. Semalam beli swimming attire. Semangat nak swim. It had always been in my list yet I havent fullfill it. So, no more reason to procastinate.

9. Will missed all the food here. Will talk about that in next post. I shouldda buy a camera! Dah setahun kerja, tak beli2. Hadoi. I am not a gadget freak. Been to comfortable with old skool, I guess. waddaeff.

10. I am not afraid to age, 30 is the new 20. Read it on a friend's FB status. So right!! I dont feel old anymore. :D

11. Try to revamp my blog soon. She deserve it. Yeah, my blog, is a she.

I think thats all I have to say. Ciow!

Was made for me and you

I miss my other half. He's my sunshine, rainbow and my music. I can't wait for us to be back together again. We will one day.

I believe that. Strongly believe.

:)

September

This blog.

Need a new look.

End of Ramadhan

Hallo.

Esok balik. Yess! Tapi malas nak pack. Oh, saya berjaya kurangkan 3kg. Namun, untuk mencapai target 55kg, haruslah kurangkan lagi 2kg.

Perut dah flat sikit. Rasa lebih 'confident' dari biasa. Nafsu makan pun dah kurang. Makan pun selalu tak habis. (Ni dah masuk amalan syaiton iaitu pembaziran). Sahur roti je. Kadang2 kuih baki buka malam sebelumnya.

Saya rasa lebih tenang. Mungkin sebab dah lepas beberapa perkara. Alhamdullilah, InsyaAllah raya tahun ni dapat bagi duit raya besar sikit untuk family. tapi dalam hati bankrupt. Yang penting ikhlas.. Hehe..

Tiba-tiba teringat peristiwa time belajar dulu. Asal cuti je, bil telefon rumah mesti double shoot up. Lepas tu ayah mesti mengamuk gile. Mengamuk sampai hempas meja and jerit-jerit. Lepas tu dalam hati, I mesti cakap, alah, setakat 2-3ratus pun nak bising. Bukan sampai seribu pun. Bila dah kerja ni baru faham and terfikir. Besar sebenarnya 2-3ratus tu. Time belajar, sedap je shopping 2-300. Time kerja, sedap gak belanja, cuma ada terdetik dalam hati macam berkira nak spend duit banyak2 macam ni.

Bila fikir balik, I ni dikira bertuah. Belajar parents fully sponsored. Tak payah nak bayar pinjaman PT, etc. Family I sederhana je. Kereta pun parents support time belajar. Bila dah kerja support lagi downpayment untuk kereta baru. I owe my parents that much. Bila dah kerja ni, diri sendiri je mampu tanggung.

It makes me wonder... Bila dah kerja, jangan selfish sangat dengan wang ringgit. Memang lah dapat kerja bagus atas usaha sendiri. Tapi sebenarnya, secretly, parents kita sentiasa doakan kita.

Semakin dewasa, semakin rasa sayang parents. Pelik. Tapi benar.

Ini merupakan entry yang tersangatlah down. Lebih baik jangan baca.

Harini dari pagi sampai lah ke malam, sedih je rasa hati. I feel so lonely inside. Dekat luar, I pretend laughing with friends here but deep inside menangis.

I hate the fact that I am that manja and gedik who love need attention. I dont want all the attention in the world, enough with my close one. Sadly, I dont have that anyone here. Dont get me wrong, I do have a bestfriend here but ofcourse I am not her priority.

I hate the fact that I am that sensitive. Easily merajuk. And I just want a friend. Who will console me, love me no matter what, who know how to 'pujuk' me.

Bahahaha. Who are you Naz? Kenapa lak orang nak ambil hati kau? T_T

I feel so sad.. Menangis hujan.

ICC MPC East M'sia Region

Ok. Ini cerita dah basi. Tapi nak cerita gak.

It was unforgettable moment. Ish, taktau nak start kat mana lah. Hmm. Ok. Lets start with my company. Ok. I work with Proton Edar. Service Centre. Sibu. Sarawak. Yes. Sarawak. Proton is that daring transferring people. For good I guess.

That's not the point lah. So, in Edar, yearly they will organize ICC. ICC stands for Inovative Creative Circle. Its like for improvement in daily work to increase productivity, quality, etc. Some sort like Kaizen la macam tu. You have to come up with a problem in your department and find root causes and solution to the problem. Boring eh? To keep it short, we have to do paper work about our idea to the improvement of daily work process.

So each department will send a group and will compete with each other in respective region. The winner of a region will be competing with other company or organization in MPC Convenction. Dey, apehal gelabah sangat cerita MPC ni? Sebab group kitaorang menang ofcourse!! We received gold award. Muahaha. Plus, we're fresh group while most of the other group memang gempak giler ah. Yela, its their 4-5th time join MPC. Mana tak terror.

Plus the MPC Convenction for East M'sia Region was held in Kota Kinabalu. I love KK for its beautiful scenery and friendly people.

Yeay! Lets scroll for pictures. Dah lama tak upload pictures.

With Mag - the master 'paperwork'

Masa tengah present

Winning Team ;D


See you in the next entry. Next week balik raya. Best!

.....

Sepatutnya bila balik rumah, rewind and kumpul semangat nak balik kerja.

BUT I feel differently. Its the opposite.

Malas nak fikir hal kerja.

:(

Part of me that never die

When it come to love, I am a hopeless romantic. I like to imagine a fairy tale happy ending love story. As I grew wiser, I realise, life has never had it ends. It goes on. So, there is no such thing as happy ending. It continues..

I was a fat kid back then. So I never had a single boyfriend when I was in school. Baik sekolah rendah sampai sekolah menengah sampai la ke boarding school.

My imagination back then was like wow! I was a loner and imagination is the only thing can makes me happy. I was a social awkward. Not a miss popular. Not a sports person. I was a nerd. A real fat nerd. But thank God I survive school days. With flying colors lagi. But then wasn't that rainbow lah.. LOL!

I was a trouble kid when I was 8-10 years old. I still remember the school's headmaster calling my parents and advise them to pay more attention to me and spend more time with me. Apa lagi, balik tu my mum mengamuk gila lah. Lucky my dad confront my mum. But I did not really understand what it means during that time. All I remember is I was lazy to do my school work and homework. My school bag penuh sampah and I dont really care what the teachers' teach at school. Surprisingly, boleh pulak I pass PTS and lompat darjah 5. Pelik. I was not a smart kid. Selalu pun dapat nombor belas-belas je dalam class, jarang top 10. Sekali dua je kot dapat no 3. Since then, semua orang ingat I budak pandai.

Jauh pulak I cerita ye..

When I was a kid, all my life is my parents. Sekarang pun ye jugak, tapi masa kecik-kecik rasa my whole life is my parents. That's why I superr love attention from them. I don't give a damn if other people ignore me or hate me. As long as my parents love me, I've the world. Tapi biasala kan, masa kecik-kecik selalu kena marah bagai. Time tu rasa nak lari dari rumah la, apela.. Haha.. Now dah besar, rasa macam nak jadi budak kecik je sampai bila-bila..

What is my point this whole rambling?

The point is nothing. I was bored and feeling lonely. And my wild imagination came back visiting me. Sebab tu teringat time kecik-kecik dulu..

I miss a pure and sincere heart of a child.

Imagination... can be a bestfriend that cheer you and pick you up.

:)

Wait for it

A year here is almost over.

Im waiting for good news soon.

I will get back my life.

I WILL.

Google Search, Sibu & Him

Stupidity.

Me : You tahu tak sekarang Sibu dah famous? Bila I google terus keluar pasal Sibu. Kalau dulu I google, mesti search keluar Sibu Island. Kalau nak search Sibu, kena type Sibu Sarawak. Sekarang dah tak..

Him : Oh ye ke... Tapi kalau I cakap something takut you marah.. (sambil muka senyum dan pegang tangan)

Me : Apa dia? Kenapa I nak marah pulak?

Him : Sebab you search dekat Sarawak, mestilah result search Sibu banyak keluar. Google boleh detect location. Page dia appear tempat paling dekat dengan location you.

Me : .............. oh yeke.. erm... tapi sibu memang dah famous (padahal dalam hati malu gileee).

No wonder bila I search dekat rumah, Sibu Island yang appear instead Sibu Sarawak.

I feel stupid. Really. T_T

Bucket List

Dah lama tak buat listing. It is my favourite things to do. Tiba-tiba nak buat list.

Places to go and things to do.
1. Europe - Paris/London/Amsterdam
2. Bungee jumping in New Zealand - Do I dare? Ermm..
3. My own home sweet home - A must by 30
4. An apartment - property
5. My own business line - For my future generation to inherit
6. Settle down and having kids - MUST HAVE
7. Saving minimum RM200 monthly - Walaupun nilai dia sikit, but god knows how hard it is! as for me lah, Im a big spender. T_T
8. Volkswagen NewBeetle - Still craving for 'em
9. Do more art/creative stuff
10. Swimming/Dancing

I am just an ordinary person with desire. I am sure you too.

Have a perfect week.

Money can't buy happiness, but it does help

It sure feels good receiving a bonus. :)

So, tonight, I off to pamper myself with facial. I didnt buy anything yet except a girdle. Ye, saya mahu slim sedikit kerana badan terlalu obes.

Ok. See you later!

Life as it is

I have no one here to bring out the best in me and its hard and frustrating.

That is somehow I believe makes me more resistant and perseverance in my career. As long I know myself, that would be enough. I have God on my side.

xxx

LBD

So, the story goes like this. Last month masa balik KL, I went out to mid valley with my lil sis. Tiba-tiba ada one lady wearing long black dress flowy-flowy. She look stunning! Terus jatuh cinta dengan black dress tu. She's not that thin either and looking like the girl next door. Dress tu dia pakai sekali dengan chucky bracelet and gold necklace. Jatuh hati lah! While she walk, she look like a goddess. Okay, memang I exxegarate tapi seriously, memang cantik. Minimalist glamourous. Owh yeah. So, mana nak cari eh dress tu?

Memori Daun Pisang

The Subject

It was December 2007. I was at my best age, young, single, and feeling beautiful (because I weight 49kg that time, tehee). My first year in uni after I change course. Flirting around and hanging out with few people during that time, never a serious date. Until I check upon him.

He was a friend of a friend. We would never met if I didnt take a risk to met someone I barely knew. His friend had a crush on me and I thank god I made the decision to met him, because, well, that is how we met. We are not related in any way. We were totally different people with diffferent personalities, different circle of friend, different taste and the list go on and on.

Back to the evening that we met, I did not really notice his face because he was at driver's seat while I am at the back. So, I just hear his voice and his 2 other friend (including the one who had crush on me) make jokes about me (he still do now!). Then, 4 of us went out to a mall. While all of us walked together, I am amazed how tall he is. Tallest among his friends and for some reason I did not understand, I am attracted to him, secretly. :P

We did not click automaticly but there is a chemistry, a vibe whenever I am with him. I feel shy and excited at the same time. I still remember my heart beat so fast until I feel it can explode whenever I saw his car, because I knew I had a chance to see him. Gila bayang! Haha.

Then, we started to went out few times. I did my checklist. Car. Check. Pants, esprit, check. Jeans, guess, check. Glasswear, oakley, check. Cap, adidas, check. Wow, this guy really taking care of what he wear (which is he still do now). Don't get me wrong, I never really into branded stuff, but this guy, I mean, woah. That is before I fall for him.

As I knew him later, he is more than just what I perceived from his appearance. I learn a lot from him. And I bet he learn a lot from me too. We have the same dreams and hope. We enjoy sharing and I am extremely the happiest girl whenever we're together. I am still the happiest girl having him in my heart.

I miss him. I really do. Yeah, we're going through bumpy road at this time. But I believe we will check into highway soon, Amin, InsyaAllah...

Amir Asyraf Janorin, gua sayang gila sama lu!

Innerself

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.

Agree. The truth, I just want to keep quiet and let this hardship gone through. I know it will be over soon.

All my life, this is so far the most challenge phase. Really challenging. Totally out of my comfort zone. What amaze me, I am still standing here, breathing and living life.

I'd be lying if I say I did not proud of myself. Maybe I am not doing pretty hell good job here, but I just survived. That is good enough.

Prayer is what toughen me up. Really. There is always a time that I feel like I can't take it, I remain sane because of faith in God. Not to mention my mum, dad and the rest of the family. Even I am far away, I still can feel their love to me.

I learn to become more patient and humble. I learn wisdom and faith in God. I learn to survive away from all the things that I love. I learn that material and social status is not everything. And above all, I learn that Allah is the Almighty and He is in charge of everything. Yes, everything.

Sometime I think I turn myself into a pessimist. But actually no. I become more optimist more than ever! Secretly, I have the positive-ly weapon inside of me and sometime I think it just waiting to burst out into something incredible.

InsyaAllah.

Tulu!

pure heart

LDR is hard. At this point, i dont survive it. Too bad for me. Im at my worst condition now. Im a stranger in this place. Away from home. Away from all the love that i had inside of me.

Sabar. I keep telling myself that. Sabar.

Kalau ada rezeki, ada. Kalau ada jodoh, ada.

Please pray for my well being.

Before Sunset

Im dying inside.
Im dying inside because I feel so numb.
I don't feel pain or excitement.
Im not even bitter, Im just dying inside..

~Celine, Before Sunset~

Back then, so what?

Back then, I was happy. I was blessed and showered with lots of love and joy. I am wanted by many who close to me. My life was well, almost perfect.

I had a wonderful boyfriend, a loyal bestfriend, a fun bunch of friends, a supportive family including the extended family like my aunts, uncle, cousins and of course my grandma. Everyone want a piece from me. I mean, they always want my company until I have to decide which one is my priority. I will feel guilty if I let down any of the list. I always wish I can divide myself so that I can accompany all of them.

That was then.

Now, I still have all the list of loved one. The big different now is no one want my accompany anymore. Its not their fault either. Its distance.

So, thank you very much for listening.

x

Another stupid mumbling

Maybe. What if.

Maybe I am not the person you need want. What if I am not the right one?

or vise versa.

God knows better. He knows well.

Mum

While driving alone through a silence road with dim light posts, I feel like I can capture that moment inside my head. The feeling is pure, perfect. I dont know how to describe it, but I feel like a time of my life, a joy in a pain.

I don't get myself lately. I talk less than I used to. I am not that moody though. I just want to keep all the rant and dissapointment to myself.

Thanks to mum who brighten up my cloudy feeling. She start with "Hello, how are you my little girl" It makes me wanna cry.. :') She remind me that a great gift is waiting for me. I believe in her.

I guess I need my mum more nowadays compared to when I was little.

Ect.

I don't know why I feel the pressure of not tying the knot. A lot (yes, read A LOT) of my friends already married and at least engaged. I am only 24 and I feel like I am already 27! Gosh, why do I feel this way?

People would say, chill, enjoy your life. Bila dah kahwin, takde freedom. You'll be missed being single. Etc. Ect. Some people even do lists of things to do before married. You know what, I dont buy any of it.

I just wanna settle down and ready to go on adventure of sharing. I am sick of being alone. Really sick. SICKO.

:'(

Rolling in deep

Same old. Same old.

What a negative vibe, I know. It just I couldnt help it but to feel this way. I feel old. I should enjoy life more in my age.

Shine I will one day. Patience is virtue. :)

Big C

Kadang-kadang lebih baik senyap dari bercakap. Sebab bila bercakap, dengan tak sengaja kita akan sakitkan hati orang.

I am losing. Yes, you win. Take all the deal with you. I dont mind it at all. Really. Seriously. Takde hal lah! You win. You win. You win. And yes you're better than me.

Puas hati?

Worry about you

My boy is always the best at surprises. Sure he did. Like last weekend, he appear in front of my house gate. Damn, surprise gile! Im speechless because he fly all away from his home just to meet me. :') So, it was the best gift ever anyone had ever gave me. Thanks sayang.

I love him so much. Our love story is not as great as romeo & juliet or bonnie & cylde, but it was great enough for the two of us.

Sadly, an incident happen on the day he supposed to get back to his hometown. Screw the counter personnel! He was late to check in and the gate already closed. Malas lah nak spare the details, tapi memang menyakitkan hati. And we weren't that late pun! Urghh!!

Anyway, I am starting to miss him already.. I wish he will safely arrive in Kuching and get a plane back to JB. As I say, malas nak cerita details. Sebab sedih. :'(

Life is always ironic. Dont you think so?

Talk to the mirror

Hi.

A note to self: Procastinating and being lazy to take action won't change a single things even you have the greatest idea and plan in your mind. It does not matter if you're intelligent and smart. It does not matter if you keep on feeling sorry for yourself. It does not matter because you ain't helping yourself to be where you want it to be.

You've been great on gettin what you inspired before. Where that self? Move on, Naz, only you can do things today for the place you want to be tomorrow. The harder you work, the luckier you get.

You got all the support and love to move on, The problem now is, yourself. Why are you not moving on?

Namanya Cinta

Cinta. Anugerah Ilahi yang tak ternilai harganya. It is amazing how can we have such feeling, rite? People around the world talk about it, in the movie, in a song, a book, a story, semualah. Love boleh buat kita rasa happy, jump over, excited, but at the same time love juga boleh buat kita rasa really down, depress and moody.

When love is not madness, it is not love. I totally agree with it. We tend to do crazy stuff when we're in love and the most precious moment is when we spend time with our loved one and the feeling, I tell you, memang high and tersangat best. Betul tak? Come on la, tipulah kalau korang tak pernah experience this stuff.

I always believe the true love of my life will be my husband. Yes, I am not married yet. Tapi dari dulu lagi I percaya my true love, the one for me is my husband. But in my case right now, my future husband kot. Huhu.

I am not going to tell you how great and awesome my love is (because he is), but to share with you about my opinion about love.

Believe it or not, I took advice about love from my family especially my mum. Yeah, Im kinda old skool girl I guess. But I always believe in what my mum said. Because when our heart shattered into pieces like a broken glass, who's the one who help you pick it up? Mum ofcourse and it will always be mum.

I've done something that I am not proud of, failed myself, etc, but in the end mum always be there, forgiving and always loving. (Tapi lepas tu kena tahan telinga lah dengar dia perli and membebel).

The point is, love is a gift, a wonderful feeling, a joy. Appreciate it and take a good care of it. But dont forget, the one who give us all the feeling, Allah the Almighty. When things doesnt go your way, remember, He always know what's the best for us. All we can do is pray for the best. I'A.

Cheers!

Pin up girl

I hate to take my own picture. Why? Because I rarely look good in them (wtf you dont look good in real world neither). T_T

But if I have a chance to have a photo shoot, my inspiration will be pin up girl! Not that very sexy-sexy one. Badan tak cantik, jangan nak perasan hot. T_T. Enough showing a lil bit of my figure and curve without revealing too much skin.

Ok. Bye.

Better Days Are Ahead

Loneliness.

This feeling strike me once in awhile. Sometime I dont even understand how can I be where I am right now. I ask myself, is this what I plan to be a year ago?

When I was in my school days, I always wanted to grow up faster. I hate being control by adults mostly by my parents and teachers. As I am an adult now, I feel the opposite. I dont want to leave home, never want to leave my comfort zone.

But then I realised, growing is the only thing that keep you moving foward. I am now surviving myself out here. I believe most of us do. To survive.

Love. The only thing that make me feel that everything is worth it. Self love. Family. Friends. Life partner. Love make me feel at ease, in comfort. The greatest love will always be to The Almighty Allah.

Dear Allah, I don't want to feel lost. Harden my heart. Toughen my soul. Please guide me and protect me. Please grant me happiness and bliss with lots of love.

In the end, all of us just human. Full of emotion, never perfect and always full of flaws.

Yours Truly.

King Julien

April had been nice to me. Hopefully, May will too!

p/s- A few of wedding I am gonna be missed. I want to celebrate love with them! ;(

Princess vs Ogre

When we were back at Universal Studio Singapore (USS)...

Me : B, Kenapa character Fiona dekat USS ni masa dia kurus? Merchandise pun banyak yang princess fiona kurus. Kenapa tak Fiona Ogre?

Him : Sebab USS belum buat audition casting lagi untuk character Fiona Ogre. Tunggu model dia baru balik dari Sibu.

Me : @#%^&*! Hmph!!

By the way, I still love you for that silly joke!

Say whatttt!

I had a great weekend and Im smiling from ear to ear. :D

Strike on my mind

Myself back in KK. Nice view eh from the hotel.

Different personalities in this world is what make life more colorful.

Sometimes, we'll be annoyed by others that we can't stand their personalities. Sheesh! That's normal I guess. But, that doesn't mean we can't be friends to them.

When this kinda people happen in my life, all I do is ignore his/her negativies personalities and keep telling myself to focus on his/her good quality. Because I think myself is not perfect either. I bet some people will be annoyed with me too. :P Anyway, I love you people-who-annoyed-with-me, thank you.

Anyhoo, this is just a random thoughts. I have problem with myself right now. Some of things didn't went well as I planned. I don't know whos to be blame. ='(

I think I want to attend mandarin class. And also learn how to speak melayu sarawak + iban. I understand some of the words/phrases but when I try to speak back, I sound like an Indonesian. That is what my colleagues told me.

The boyfie had himself a new iphone. It is so annoying when I say "B, mana phone u? U letak kat mana?" Then he replied "Hey, bukan phone la. iphone." See? T_T Now I feel like gadget-loser gf. JK! ;p

What is my next aim after this. A new phone? A new job? A new life?

I dont want to think about it now.

All I know that I'll be taking a break (like again?) from work.

Have a happy weekend ahead.

So, April is finally here!

My mind can't focus on work right now. All I think about is gettin on the plane and fly away to meet him.

My parents just got back from their honeymoon for 25th anniversaries. Can't wait to hear their stories and dig out their shopping treasures.

Finally, after 6 months working my ass out here, I am taking a break and go for a mini vacation. I am no longer a probation, officially a permanent staff.

Can't wait to see my new baby. Too bad I can't be with her because I know Kelish still need me here. (Sorry, statement ni memang poyo)

I thought I can reduce my weight here by this month but unfortunately, it doesn't work. Still not giving up though because every Tuesday and Thursday, I'll be burning the calories with badminton with a bunch of friends. Fun!

Did you know MAS is cheaper if we booked, let say 1 month earlier? I mean its cheaper than Air Asia sometime. Yes, seriously, am not kidding!

Just bought a fancy luggage. And I feel bad about it. Tu lah, konon-konon nak depart and arrive with style lah kat airport. Padan muka!

Another 5 hours to get on the plane.. and 2 hours to get out from the office!! Bye office! Dont miss me and please dont welcome me back with tons of workload!!

See ya people! Muachx!

Lady Red

Fridayyyy!! Cepatlaaaaaaaaa! =D

Anyway, anyway, anyway.....

I think I've already became a real adult with a real responsibility, T_T

xxx

Gossip & Drama

In every action that you do, be wise, be classy. You may not be popular, but you never go out of style.

p/s-sorry, but i dont speak sarcasm.

Pretty Please

My life seemed slow lately... And it kills me somehow..

Longing for a looong break.

Hi, can we go out now?

Hello.

Let me bored you with a post of office conflict. Things going a lil bit unkind in the office. Duh. In time like this, it makes me missing my boyfie even more. I just want to go on a perfect date. Well, whenever Im with him, every date is perfect enough. ;'(

Really. Burdennningg. Argh!

Looking foward for April. April. April. What a nice name April. Maybe I should name one of my kid April. Ok. Fine. I memang dah mengarot.

Anyway, my perfect watch would be like this. OooooOoo.. *drooling over*

I misssss UTM life so very badddlyyyyyy. Reality is cruel. Sob.. sob..sob..

I've got class and you dont

I always adore Grace Kelly. Beautiful, stunning and simply classy. I'd love to have her wedding dress inspired for my wedding.

Have a happy Sunday!

p/s-The title is from my favorite dialogue in a scene of Parents Trap. Ive grown up watching the movie over and over again.

Ijazah vs Kerjaya

Gosh. Who thought reading news can be so depressing? It's been awhile since I read newspaper, but today's newspaper, some of the headlines that I found depressing. Plus, I've browse through to read what really happen in Japan and makes me feel more alert than ever.

Ok lah. Back to the news. One of the headline news in Berita Harian today had caught my attention. Its about graduate's job hunting.

So, I rasa I nak cerita pasal graduan mencari pekerjaan ni. I rasa dari dulu sampai sekarang, isu ni sentiasa ada. I masih ingat lagi masa I tukar course from Sains Matematik kepada Marketing masa dekat Uni dulu. You know how parents react? Diorang macam tak yakin je dengan course tu. Inilah masalah orang Malaysia (ini bukan bermakna I salahkan parents I, ok). Sesetengahnya hanya menganggap course sains (including medic, engineering, etc) lebih menjamin masa depan berbanding course lain. Boo! Soo wrong!!

Lagi satu kan, pasal isu course ni laku la, tak laku la. Yes, its true. Ada betulnya pasal course laku tak laku sebab ikut pasaran pekerjaan yang ditawarkan. Tapi, jangan jadikan tu sebagai alasan susah nak dapat pekerjaan. Sebab kalau nak ikutkan, memang susah pun nak cari kerja, tak kisah la course apa pun yang you all belajar masa dekat Uni.

Segulung ijazah, bukat guarantee yang kita semua dapat pekerjaan. Ijazah hanya tiket saja. Maksudnya, kita ada extra sikit berbanding orang yang tiada ijazah. Tapi kadang2, masyarakat ingat asal ada ijazah je, guarantee dapat kerja. Salah taw! Sebab ada je orang lain, diploma ke, stpm, spm yang dapat kerja juga.

Pada I, tak salah kita memilih kerja. Yelah, masa depan kita kan. Badan kita yang menanggung sebarang keputusan yang kita buat. Cuma, kita kenalah realistik. Contohnya, I nak sangat kerja company oil & gas. Tapi bila dah send out application, takde vacancy or diorang tak panggil pun. So, takkanlah selagi I tak dapat kerja company tu, selagi tu I tak nak kerja sebab nak tunggu company tu juga. Tak bolehla macam tu..

"Shoot for the moon, even if you missed it, you'll land among the stars". Sebab tu kita kena selalu aim high. Jangan underestimate diri sendiri. Sebab kalau kita tak dapat benda yang paling best, at least kita dapat benda yang nombor 2 best. Tapi kalau kita aim benda yang biasa-biasa, nanti kalau kita tak dapat yang biasa-biasa tu, dapat yang tak best pulak. Kan dah jadi tak best. Hehe.

Masa I undergraduate dulu, orang selalu takut-takutkan susah nak dapat kerja. Myself, ofcourse, mestilah takot gak! But, I prepare awal2. Sebelum graduate lagi I dah mula job hunting. Jangan bila dah grad, baru nak cari kerja. Kerja tak datang cari kita. Dulu mungkin la, sekrang dunia semakin kompetitif. So, kita kena agresif sikit cari kerja. Betul kan?

Ewah, panjang pulak I membebel. Kesimpulannya, peluang tu sentiasa ada. Trust me. Cuma kita kenalah pandai cari peluang tu. Tak semua benda yang kita nak tu, kita boleh dapat semua dalam satu masa. Adala, pros and cons nya. Life balance that way..

To all undergraduate, good luck in your future undertaking.

xoxo

Nice Dream

Helpless.. but still breathing...

LDR can be suck sometime. (erm, maybe all the time). Because when you're having a fight with him, you can't fight right.

I miss having a fair fight with him. Where both of us throwing out our feelings with words and our judgement on the issue and in the end, we clean up the air with a conclusion, a promise and a great date! How I miss it so badly..

I am always the one who caused the fight... It makes me feel guilty even more.......

I just want him to be my side. That is all I want for now..

Im dying slowly inside.. xxx

Map to success

Seriously, I need to plan out my life. Its been awhile since I lost the courage to move on, and now, its time. (I know, sucha drama queen)

I hope everything will go well. Everything..

I miss my other half like *no words can describe it* Im outta tears. But I still strongly believe we'll be together in the end. Amin. InsyaAllah.

I know what I want now but it all scattered inside my head like incomplete jigsaw puzzle. Yet, I am too lazy to solve the puzzle by listing it in a piece of paper and figured out the complete picture.

Alhamdullilah, the feeling of desire and passion came back to me and it gave me purpose to plan my next step.

Sabar.. Its all I can do now.. Its all I can do...

P/s- I had my very first credit card of maybank now. Woot. Woot.

Im alive and kickin

So many things... So little time....

Whoosh~

Open arms

“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.”

*I need to remind myself*

Money do the talk

March Splurge : Guess? Motorchic Handbag, Swatch Brilliant Bangle

When I was in school days, I always jealous and feeling so envy to those of my rich friends. I hate myself during that time and cursing life for being so unfair. Plus, during that time my family were having some financial crisis because of my dad had just recover from a stroke. I blame my parents for what I become that time. Grumpy, ungrateful and my exam results were suck. I even did something that I was not proud of to. I am sick of my mother that kept telling me to 'be yourself'. What the hell is that suppose to mean? 'Be-proud-of-yourself-you-penniless-girl?'

That was then.

My uni life become better after that. I've reconciled with my parents. That is why I strongly believe in parents prayer and their blessed, especially my mum. I also learn that being filthy rich is not the only way to be happy and being lucky. Yes, its true, some people were born with all the privillaged, but, its their destined. We have our own and even better maybe. It is just sometime we don't realise it because we're too busy thinking about others.

That is when I decided to follow my dream. Dreams are super duper powerful motivation. Trust me people! Oh, and also being positive and optimistic. :D

My inspiration always come from the people I know, a friend doesnt matter close or not, family and from my surrounding. In every friend, I try to find out their good quality and I will try to improve myself based on theirs. I like being in harmony, dont like having any enemies and I want to be nice to everyone.

I consider myself as lucky. I have a strong supportive system and I know I have capabilities that have not shine yet. Hihi. Hey, everyone does, ok!

But, I am just human afterall, still, the feeling of envious of having more came once in awhile. That is when I keep on telling myself to be grateful and be patient. Because we'll get there..

The reason why I keep on rambling here is because ...............................................

I am undecided whether to purchase a new car or not. T_T My mum agreed to help me with the downpayment while my dad insist me to get the full loan. See, mum always will agree with you in terms of 'shopping'. Buying a car consider as shopping, right?

By the way, I spent a lot lately. Like real a lot. I promise myself to buy only ONE expensive/luxury item PER month. But this month, I purchase TWO!! Its not my fault! Its the boutique's fault who offered sale. But, yeah, I feel satisfied than ever. ;P

My term of expensive/luxury might be different from yours. So, I still consider few hundreds to spend on an item is expensive rather than few thousands. Belum sampai tahap tu lagi weh. I might be, one day, InsyaAllah, Amin.

29 February 2011?

Distance may keep us apart but you are carefully tucked in my heart.

Happy Birthday Amir Asyraf.

I love you more each year.

xoxo

Pasar

Woah. Did they sell it as a pet or for dinner?

The famous midin

Erm... Its prawn but I dont know how they turn into that color

Ketam Sungai

Had a lovely sunday morning. It was raining and I had laksa sarawak for breakfast. Then, we went to Pasar Sibu, the larget wet market here in town and oh boy, how I am excited! I bought some vegetable to cook for lunch.

And yes, I cook. :)

On the way back home I saw this 'office'. I think its funny though.

Monday. Monday. Bring it on!

xxx

Sushi Tie

Had sushi after work.

Waiting for next week.

xoxo

Love Day Even Better

Cantik tak? (nada seperti eric leong) ;P

I meet these faces everyday.. :) Ni pun tak cukup korem (betul ke spelling ni?)

The package. Woah!

What's inside. Major lurrve!

He even got me my dream car.. Aww..

Happy me after a workday.

As for today, my colleagues surprise me as well... With a beautiful birthday cake! :) Im so touched! We had a simple birthday party. During this time, semua orang malu-malu. Haish!

And.......*drumroll please*.......ting!

I've got a package send with love. My boyfie did gave me a birthday present when I thought he wouldn't! Awwwwww.. (sorry gedik)

I miss him so so much.. I love you b! I really do. Thank you million times. Hehe.

So, that's it. Takde apa dah lepas ni. Just the fact I'll be left alone for a week because my housemate will be going back for training. Duh... :(

Still, I feel love even I am far away from him. Thanks dear. Only you can make me feel this way.

Muachx!

Alhamdullilah.. Aku bersyukur dengan nikmatMu..

Birthday Again!!

Nampak tak kat belakang tu ada orang main keyboard? He's playing my birthday day song!

Time ni serius tak perasan ada orang nak bagi kek. wee~

The best and MOST DELICIOUS cake ever. Serius bai!

With Azah. There's no pic of Awang here as he busy taking ours. ;)

Hey! As promised, the second part. :)

After my housemate came back that night, she'd like ignoring me and didnt even wish me. I was sad ofcourse! But I keep telling myself maybe she was tired after the training and travelled, so let it be lah. Then, she ask me to accompany her to have dinner because I was not hungry that time.

To my surprised, she did surprise me to have dinner in the fancy cafe while I thought we're just going to some 'gerai'. Luckily my dress was appropriate because I was thinking of putting my lazy shirt at first. Then, one of her colleague came by with big apple donuts. Gila excited! Its been awhile since I had some donuts. They dont have any here except the one in normal bakery shop.

Suddenly, a waiter came to me with a cute cake with candles and a live band playing happy birtday song. Im speechless and blushed that time cuz I didnt expect any of it. Malu.. :p

It was the best moment so far of my birthday year. Thank you so much Azzah and Awang for your kindness doing this thing to me. :)

So that's the story of my birthday this year.

To be continue lagi... (more picca in my FB)