My Ride Home

My ride home.

My English sucks lately (dulu taklah hebat sangat but better kot!). It shows when my boss commented my paperwork. Sigh. Tulah, dah lama tak membaca!

Bare with me, entry kali ini memang nak membebel rintihan hidup. Acewah.

Since I transfer back to KL, I become a slave to my work. Kadang-kadang sampai rasa macam tak bernafas. But somehow, I like my job scope. Everyday is not the same and unpredictable. I do things that can bring effect to the service division. If I do it wrong, people will look after me. Kadang-kadang penat to take the blame, to think of the consequences, to make sure things run as planned, etc. Tapi the satisfaction, bring joy to me (walaupun yang dapat selalunya komen membina dan membunuh).

I don't think I do it well. I wish I can be perfect. I am not a details person. And that is the part that always get me in the end.

Back to 'my ride home', perasaan setiap kali balik kerja adalah sama. Gembira ke, sedih ke, sama je. Meaning deep inside I feel the same. Why?

Sebab every ride home, I always think about him. I let my imagination run wildly about us. Things we do, things we would do, things we might do.. And I just miss having conversation with him in the car. :')

The bittersweet feeling always get me. I feel sad but at the same time happy. Happy knowing we're sharing the same faith and hope and sad that I have to face this phase on my own.

Tapi in the end, I still feel grateful for this life. Always. I am grateful for the car I ride, grateful for a very understanding and supportive family, grateful for good health, grateful for the colleagues and friends I have. And most importantly, I am grateful knowing Allah is always there listening and taking care of me and people around me and people that I love.

My ride home.

My pure feeling in a day.