Friday, February 12, 2010

Big Girl

I've got a lot of thoughts in my mind right now but it is kinda of hard to express it.

I hate myself today. I hate myself for being weak. I hate myself because I rely on others to make me happy. I hate myself because Im not strong and easily broke into tears. I hate myself for not having a hard-as-stone-heart.

It just a simple thing actually. But it really disturbed me until I feel so negative. Im trying, but maybe not hard enough. Give me some time. Dont push me around. I know sometime people dont really mean what they said, or it just their thoughts, it is not something they mean to hurt me. But I do get hurts when they talk about that specific things.

I have to break this cycle. I have to. But its f***ing hard.

Im beautiful even I've gained weight. Ada apa2 masalah?

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