Its okay to cry.
I cried today after awhile I havent been in tears. This semester is hard for me. Its my final sem. Im excited and afraid at the same time. I had failed. Twice. God, its not something that Im proud of. What if I never meant to be graduate? Will there be another obstacle before I could finally get my degree? If there is, can I handle it? Damn, sedih gile!
Im taking marketing degree. I had repeat my matriculation and drop mathematic degree before this. My family is no longer proud of me. And my dad keep on saying science graduate have more advantage than art stream. I dont want to believe this, but, my heart agree with it. I dont blame my dad. Maybe its not his intention.
When I was in lower secondary school, I always think my life would be easier than this. But it turn out to be opposite than I thought. The thing that keep me being positive is the thought that Allah decide everything and He is the best decider.
This sem will be the last sem that I could meet my other half almost everyday. I cant face the facy that we will no longer be able to that after this semester. Its hard! Life always changing. In every beginning, there will be the end. I dont know whether its a good thing or bad thing.
Sometime I feel there is so many thing I want to do but so little time. I've been through my life, dealing with all the obstacle, enjoying the pleasure, and Im not sure if I can keep it in the future. I felt like there's a pause in my life, and all my ambitious dreams seem like flying away from me...
As a muslim, I should not be too worry about my future and stuff. Allah had its own plan. I just have to try my best and chasing my dream. Whatever happens, believe its the best for me. Dear Allah, forgive all my sins and take me to the right path. Amin.
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