Anger in Silence

I dont know how to start this but my heart aching, bleeding but still my heart try to deny the pain. I thougt what I did was an improvement but as the result, it turn out to be the worst thing I should have done.

I try to be a girl who manage to smile even the world around me collapse.

I try to be the best for him.

I try to understand.

I try to change my bad habit.

I try and try.. Maybe it just not enough.

Maybe I just thougt all my effort are a lot but actually they are not. I dont know what should I say. Because all of my words are seem to be just pain in the ass. I want to cry, but I cant. I want to cry so badly until my tears are like ocean. But I cant.

I miss my family.