Run Run Run

If I could run away now, I would.

Leave behind all I used to know.

Run to a strange place.

Where's not a soul know where Im coming from.

I feel like run away now.

Leaving behind what I uses to love.

I will pack light, I promised.

Just myself and the memories.

I want to run away.

Its not that Im hating this place.

I just want a different place.

Im not sure if I still know myself.

It would be nice if I can run away.

I will start a new chapter.

Leaving behind my old self.

I just want to feel myself, be with myself.

I will run.

Escape.

Run in order to survive.

I will survive

Sitting in a meeting room with those managers and specialist make me feel small.

I am the only tudung-wearing-malay-lady and the youngest and least experiene among all.

Deep down I feel proud that I have make this far. 

But most of the time I feel incompetent.

Lillahitaala. Ikhlas. Kerana Allah untuk Islam. 

InshaAllah. Semoga Allah permudahkan.

Inception

I think my husband is a gift from Allah. I am forever thankful.

Yesterday was a routine weekend for us where we went for groceries and spend time together as our weekdays are busy with work.

"Tomorrow is back to reality. Monday. Sigh. I wish we could be like this everyday. We don't have to work. We just enjoy each other companion side by side."

"So you dont like the reality with me? Because I love the reality with you by my side" My husband said.

"Errm.... It's not like that...."

"Reality is good and what makes us human. We will treasure it more. If we have sunday everyday, we will be like in the inception where leonardo trying to find past memories because he was busy living in his own fantasy. Human need challenge and that is the only way we can become better."

I love you husband. Always my inspirational.

Now get back to work Naz!

Muah ciked.😘

A new hello

Hi.

Im back. I miss writing and I miss putting my thoughts in words.

More Work Stuff

Hi!!

As I am writing this, I am now at Double Tree by Hilton Hotel in JB. Nice hotel. Upon check in, I received a warm chocolate chip and the receptionist who attend me is a young and handsome caucasian. Haha. Terasa travel overseas la pulak. And the smell of the hotel is soo refreshing! You did a good job Paris Hilton. What??!

Few incident happen yesterday that makes me feel humanity faith is restored, well at least to me.

1. It is hard to get a taxi to drive you from Shah Alam to Subang in the evening. Reason being - traffic was horrible during the peak hour. 3 taxi driver reject me. A second taxi driver actually ask me to ask his colleagues if they want to go there. I almost give up and went back to my car and the same taxi driver honk me to ask another colleague. Finally he agreed. Yeay! so, I ask him to pick me up at my house at 6pm. I forgot to take his number, but luckily, he kept his promised.

2. At the airport, a couple with their toddler waiting for their turn to queue for the next flight. After they left, I saw ATM card under their chair. I straight away take the card and ran to them. Luckily they didnt went off from the gate yet. The wive was so shocked, she didnt say a word. So do her husband where they stare at each other like they want to eat each other. Nasib baik Allah gerakkan hati dan mata untuk perasan kad tu dan bagi balik kat couple tu.

Saja nak tulis because I feel this is something that I should documented.

Marketing Girl

Hello.

So, I had to travel to KK for work. Its been awhile since my last work related trip outstation. I think this is what I need to get me back focus on my work. Looks like I had not really focus and this trip will be the inspiration to move forward in my career.

Lots of learning despite I am excited riding that airplane to KK. :)

I can see from the people face and reaction knowing that I am flying solo representing my company for work, they're surprised (or maybe impressed) seeing a malay lady with tudung doing marketing. Ok, mungkin perasan, but hey, I need this to boost my confidence and self esteem to survive in this line.

Honestly, I am kinda feeling down with my work. I feel small. I cannot give up. I have go that far. It will be ashemd if I quit just because of some self confident issue. It just the evil voice that bringing me down.

I learn that, it is okay if you dont know everything and you cant do everything. Everyone is also learning and struggling. It just they are good at hiding it. Like a duck pedalling in the lake.

So, the first day, I learn that I should learn how to talk to everyone, to all level. From the managers to the uncle. From the social people to the most quiet one. Just say hello and be genuine. Listen to their stories and show some enthusiatic.

Also, be confident of what you're going to say. Sell yourself.

That night, I was having dinner by myself. I feel completely content. Like I am fully in charge of myself. Like I am in love with my own self, which is essential because you must love yourself firts before someone else.

The next day, I was greeted by a man who travelling from work as well. Very friendly and he asked me if Im travelling here that often. He's from Sime Darby anyway. We had a nice chat even it is short.

You see, meeting new people can be fun. We never knew what we'll be expecting. I am going to share about health issue on my next post. That is one of the learning I got from this trip as well.

Bye!

Love will come along

She come and visit me again.

This time I can feel her present. The feeling, the sensation even clearer. She took me off wandering in the super highway of time and places. From the past to the present and future.

She's going even deeper, full of questions and doubts. She was afraid, that's for sure. I can feel it... Like a twin having a telepathy conversation. Like I have understand her the longest time. Like she was a part of me.

She told me that she didnt like herself now. How can she is not writing anymore? She used to be full of sunshine even when its cloudy. She said she feel like she's losing it. She is afraid of her new self. She didnt want to lose her old self either.

So, she sat there quietly.

Shhhhh.......

I dont know what to tell her. I dont know if we're still friends. I really dont. I forced myself to ignore her. But impossible to forget her. She influence my life largely.

Then I reaalised. I lose focus to myself. I put my energy to her instead.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Not for the fame. Not for pleasing people.

Focus to be the better version of yourself.

Remember at the end of your mind. Remember. Love will come along. Sure it will.

Love yourself.

Goodnight.